I want to go home

2005-01-22 at 2:50 a.m.

I am not feeling so good. Getting worried about the future, still don't know what i want to do, had my interview with south bank which went quite well.

I'm worried that having a mental illness will debar me from the health service, and that the scars on my arm will stop me from being accepted (they all wear short sleeved uniforms, don't they, typical). i'm worried I'll get ill again, and not be able to cope with sick people. i'm worried that i won't cope with radiography, and worried that if I choose nursing I'll go mad with the stress.

To top it off I'm not really in the best of (mental) health at the moment. I just had a massive fit of crying for no reason, feel awful, really want to cut...I don't know why this has just come up for no reason. Maybe the stress of the tests I've been doing and the interview? I don't know, I'm just...worried I guess.

Got to stop worrying.

Why do I keep thinking I want to go home when i am at home?

I won't cut, I won't do anything, I want to be off medication and away from doctors. I'm going to sit this out, it'll be fine. It will.

I want to go home.

<< - >>
Notes | G-book