Bloody Aunties

2004-02-25 at 1:41 a.m.

Oh dear. I missed my dentist's appointment and slept most of today, waking up at five. Though I was awake at half eleven so I was able to ring the dentist to change my appointment to Thursday, otherwise they charge you.

Went to the shops. On my way back I spotted a letter that had slipped onto the pavement when the postman was delivering, from my aunty Pat. Now, I may have mentioned before that I have an aunty in Australia - Aunty Angie - and Aunty Pat is not actually my aunty but a friend of my auntie's, who has lived with her for thirty years now. (And no, they're not lesbians).

Anyway, I seem to have accidentally started a feud between my aunty and my mother. I told my aunty about being ill before I told mum, and she rang mum apparently to say that mum should listen to her advice (what with her being a nurse) and be nice to be and stuff. Mum wasn't impressed by her interference, and told her to piss off, or words to that effect, I think. Now aunty Angie has always been quite a one for holding grudges - for years, I mean. Anyway she said to mum that she would never speak to her again after that and it looks like she is going to follow it - hence no parcel at Christmas, not even a card, though we sent her stuff.

Anyway, to get to the point, this letter was from Aunty Pat. Basically she has decided now to tell us that her mother died in August and could we not send her mother a Christmas card again please. She said she had decided not to tell us about her mother's death because she was upset that we hadn't written to her after her mother had a stroke, that we hadn't shown we cared enough.

The rest of the letter proceeded to tell us that Auntie Angie is some sort of saint and that we're unpleasant, uncaring individuals. I'm going to quote a bit of it, a bit that refers to me:

"Angela was greatly concerned and upset when Emma wrote to her last year, telling her of her medical condition. She went to great lengths locating Emma in Edinburgh and talking to her. Angie is such a caring, considerate and compassionate person she thought that by contacting you at that time she may be able to offer some words of help/advice. The response (it seems from my perspective) from you was one of 'mind your own business'.
She has written to Emma without response and you never ring or write to tell Angie how things are or to ever ask after Angie's welfare."

Now that pisses me off. I wrote to Auntie Angie to tell her I was ill and I was grateful to be able to do so. I did not ask her to go to enormous difficulties to ring me - and she didn't exactly reproach me for making her do so when she did get through to me! I would have been quite happy with a letter as, as Auntie Angie should know, her often having experienced it - I dislike speaking to people on the telephone. I never asked either her or mum for advice - I simply wanted consideration. Consideration which Aunty Pat appears to have forgotten. I mean, hello, I've been having a trouble writing long letters to Australia for a time now. As I said in my original letter to Auntie Angie it is quite difficult to get up the energy to do so, not to mention having to remember and relive difficult times.

Thanks a lot, Aunty Pat, for reproaching me for not writing often enough, and not caring enough. I have often written to you and never received a reply - and have no problem with that. You see, I know its quite difficult because you have to get your mail weighed and particularly difficult if you're not well to get letters off. I always ask after Auntie Angie - I know she's not well - and I notice that neither of you gives a damn whether I'm ok. For all you know, I could be languishing in some hospital somewhere - did you try to find out if I was ok? No. I got that phone call, and a letter later, but you're relying on mum (who isn't a good communicator) getting in touch should something happen. Are you even aware that mum isn't well? That she has such appalling asthma that she'll probably die young? That we've had to buy a second house because she can't breathe in the summer in London? That we've all had to be trained in what to do if she stops breathing? Do you even care? Or are you wanting our sympathy for you, you, you all the time because you have epilepsy and are on steroids?

Mum isn't a great communicator. You should know that, you're her sister! She has never written a letter to me, and I'm her daughter and in the same country, do you really expect her all of a sudden to start writing to Australia? We've rung you throughout the year in previous years - mum isn't now because you insulted her. You of all people should know how stubborn we are in this family.

For heaven's sake. How often have I written a letter full of insults to you? Hmmm? You can stop with the sugary-sweetness, its not fooling anyone.

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