Cutting, but feeling better

2003-11-22 at 3:47 a.m.

Last night was bad. I got in a really bad mood - really argumentative for no reason. Then as I was trying not to lose my temper online (I was in a chatroom at the time), I just really suddenly got depressed. Then I wanted to cut. And then it got overwhelming and I ended up rooting about in a shed at midnight in the rain trying to find a knife.

Fortunately it was an elderly craft knife of my dad's, so it wasn't sharp. So I just ended up with some scratches. And we have a first aid kit.

I was just a bit surprised by how violent the urge was. I felt a million times better after though. And I bought some razor blades today. Elf was right - they're really expensive in supermarkets! It cost me £3.50 for ten!!! I'll have to go easy on them to save them then.

Today I'm feeling much better though. I had weird nasty dreams last night though, and it seems I attacked myself in the night too as I've woken up with scratches on my face. People on the chatrooms say I'm demon-possessed lol.

Anyway, so I'm feeling ok today. I had a good vent with a load of poetry (which I'm not putting online as its awful) so I guess I've got my problems out.

See you tomorrow,

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