Saw the parents

2003-06-09 at 12:34 p.m.

Its quite a nice house - a bungalow, in a newish housing estate. Its not big, but its ok. We had lunch in Alnwick.

Looked through some boxes of books I haven't seen since 1997! I should explain - in 1997 we moved to London, and because we moved in a terrible hurry (dad had to go quickly because of work), we just shoved everything into long-term storage. Then we moved into about four flats in London, one after the other, and eventually wound up buying a really nice flat near Oxford Street. It wasn't very big though, so we just left all our stuff in storage - we'd had an enormous house in the country before you see! Now we've bought a second house, we've finally got all the stuff out. Boxes and boxes of pictures and ornaments and books. I had a quick look through some of my stuff, and found a ton of books I'd half forgotten I had! I'm going to have to have a good go through though, because somehow I don't think I'm going to be reading Enid Blyton again for a while!

Mum and dad wanted to help me apply for jobs, so dad helped me write application forms out.

To be honest, I'm finding the stress of moving, finding a place to live, a job, a little too much right now. I've been getting depressed again, badly, the way it was before - even the excitement of getting that tattoo hasn't helped that. I really don't know what I'm going to do. Mum and dad want to come up and start moving stuff out of my flat next week - but I haven't had the energy to tidy for months so they're going to go mad if they get inside my flat. Plus, they don't know I smoke so I can't let them in because the place probably smells a bit.

I think the problem is that neither of them understand depression. They keep just saying "don't get depressed", as though I can stop it happening! And they certainly don't seem to understand that being nagged and being told "you don't have much time, hurry hurry hurry" and piling on the pressure really isn't helpful right now.

I don't think I can cope with all this.

Anyway, must go, I have to get my ears syringed today (exciting) then go meet the others. I'll probably post again later on.

-Blaed

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