down again, new poem.

2003-05-16 at 4:31 a.m.

Well, things were looking up for a bit there.

I was feeling quite cheerful, but I'm back in the doldrums again.

I think thats what the psychiatrist was talking about when he said I might be partly on some spectrum leading to manic depression. I.e. I'm not manic depressive, but I might develop it, as I have a tendency that way.

Thats why I'm on Lamotrigine, to dull that, since the Venlafaxine I was on made me high. Unfortunately what it seems to be doing is dulling the happy bits, and not doing anything with the downs. But he's put up the dose to 150mg/day so maybe that will help.

I've written a new poem, anyway. So after posting this I can stop, because I've overposted to the diary today, what with the new menu pages and that.

Alternation

I crest the waves
and scream to the sun
but only plunge
to the deep again.

I am drowning
and burning
in spiteful alternation.

And all I crave is
freedom.

-Blaed

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